You're probably thinking, "A fair-weather what?" A fair-weather friend
could be one of your closer friends who you hang out with a lot. It
will more likely be a closer friend than the friend you just talk to in
Does your friend get mad at you when you have to cancel plans? Does he
or she try to make you feel guilty about it? Is he or she always around
when you are happy and everything is great, and then when you need a
friend to vent to, she or he is nowhere in sight?
For example, say your friend Maggie and you had plans to go see a movie
on Friday night, but all of a sudden you had an extra basketball
practice and had to cancel your plans. Would she totally ignore you and
make you feel guilty about it? And then the next day, when you tell her
about the tickets you got to see that new movie that everyone wants to
see, does she act like she is your best friend? If so, then your friend
is probably a fair-weather friend.
Basically, a fair-weather friend will only be nice to you if he or she
is having a good day, or if he or she gets something out of being nice.
When you had the tickets to the movie, your friend wanted to go with
you, right? So obviously she would be really nice to you. When you have
to cancel plans, it's not on her schedule, so she ignores you and gives
you the cold shoulder.
A fair-weather friend might expect you to be ready to go to the mall
when she wants to or get together when it is convenient for her, like
if she has nothing else to do -- whether or not you have other plans.
Maybe if something she would rather do becomes a choice, she might
cancel plans with you. But then she gets mad at you when you have to cancel plans because you
have to finish this big project that is due the next day. Or if
something is in it for her, the fair-weather friend is your best friend
because she wants that something for herself.
Chances are, your friend doesn't realize how much he or she is hurting
you. Maybe you should try to talk to him or her. Tell Maggie that it
isn't your fault you had an extra basketball practice on Friday and
that you didn't know about it until Thursday! Explain why her actions
or attitude bothers you. If she is a good friend, then she should try
to change her ways or at least apologize about it. Then you can decide
if she deserves another chance or not.
The bottom line is, don't let this person tell you when you have to get
together, or disappear when you have a family crisis and need someone
to talk to!
This is Lckygrl13, watching out for any fair-weather friends!
Note: It's tough to approach someone who treats you like this,
but it's really important to have the strength. And what's even harder
is realizing you're not perfect yourself -- we can all make the mistake
of taking our friends for granted. Working to stop it takes courage and
humility. If you find yourself treating friends this way, or vice
versa, take heart and work hard to fix it! You'll be glad you did in
the long run.