www.whyville.net Nov 14, 2004 Weekly Issue



Lckygrl13
Guest Writer

A Fair-Weather Friend?

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You're probably thinking, "A fair-weather what?" A fair-weather friend could be one of your closer friends who you hang out with a lot. It will more likely be a closer friend than the friend you just talk to in English class.

Does your friend get mad at you when you have to cancel plans? Does he or she try to make you feel guilty about it? Is he or she always around when you are happy and everything is great, and then when you need a friend to vent to, she or he is nowhere in sight?

For example, say your friend Maggie and you had plans to go see a movie on Friday night, but all of a sudden you had an extra basketball practice and had to cancel your plans. Would she totally ignore you and make you feel guilty about it? And then the next day, when you tell her about the tickets you got to see that new movie that everyone wants to see, does she act like she is your best friend? If so, then your friend is probably a fair-weather friend.

Basically, a fair-weather friend will only be nice to you if he or she is having a good day, or if he or she gets something out of being nice. When you had the tickets to the movie, your friend wanted to go with you, right? So obviously she would be really nice to you. When you have to cancel plans, it's not on her schedule, so she ignores you and gives you the cold shoulder.

A fair-weather friend might expect you to be ready to go to the mall when she wants to or get together when it is convenient for her, like if she has nothing else to do -- whether or not you have other plans.

Maybe if something she would rather do becomes a choice, she might cancel plans with you. But then she gets mad at you when you have to cancel plans because you have to finish this big project that is due the next day. Or if something is in it for her, the fair-weather friend is your best friend because she wants that something for herself.

Chances are, your friend doesn't realize how much he or she is hurting you. Maybe you should try to talk to him or her. Tell Maggie that it isn't your fault you had an extra basketball practice on Friday and that you didn't know about it until Thursday! Explain why her actions or attitude bothers you. If she is a good friend, then she should try to change her ways or at least apologize about it. Then you can decide if she deserves another chance or not.

The bottom line is, don't let this person tell you when you have to get together, or disappear when you have a family crisis and need someone to talk to!

This is Lckygrl13, watching out for any fair-weather friends!


Editor's Note: It's tough to approach someone who treats you like this, but it's really important to have the strength. And what's even harder is realizing you're not perfect yourself -- we can all make the mistake of taking our friends for granted. Working to stop it takes courage and humility. If you find yourself treating friends this way, or vice versa, take heart and work hard to fix it! You'll be glad you did in the long run.

 

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